Hi Working Mama, it's great that you've recognized an unhealthy habit and taken this step to improve the quality and context of the mental chatter.  I believe you'll be able to make great strides with this goal by employing a technique called 'positive self-talk'. Terry Gogna talks about it in his book called 'How I Get Myself To Do The Things I Need To Do' (I just happen to be reading it right now) or you could follow this link which offers advice on how to create a more positive habbit:  http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/positiveselftak.htm

Best of luck and I hope you'll be able to find some useful tips.  Please post some notes on your progress because I know there are others working on this goal too. 

It's great that you're so self-aware, WM. I used to fall prey to this habit myself at times and it doesn't feel good. All that negativity has a way of coloring your experiences until you can't find the positive in anything. I started thinking in terms of intentions rather than actions. When others do things that bother me, I consider whether they are doing it to purposefully hurt me or drive me crazy. Usually the answer is no, they're just trying to do their best to get through their day. So taking that one moment to question intention really helped me let a lot of those moments slide by without getting ruffled. It took more out of me emotionally and didn't do much to strengthen my important relationships. Much better now!

 Hey Jaime!  I'm finally getting caught up on everyone's goals, and I have to say that I really like this one.  I have just stumbled on a book called Life Without Limits.  The author is Nick Vujicic, and he was born without any arms or legs.  Needless to say, he's had his fair share of challenges.  I can't say enough about this book!  He addresses many things such as discovering our purpose, committing to our goals, and accepting challenges because they help us grow.  But the one area which I relate to your goal is the elimination of negativity.  Now he states that since we're all human, we tend to fall into those negative traps and mindsets from time to time, but a great way to reduce it is gratitude.  Wake up each morning and really take time to think about all the things you have to be grateful for (large and small).  It's pretty amazing.  I have to say that I've been feeling a bit angry (over injustices) lately and this is truly helping me get past it.  The more you are able to focus on your blessings, the more you are able to realize that the little things that get you upset are just that...little things.  And even when it comes to large issues...yes, you may still have some anger, but it won't be bubbling up inside you as much.  I highly recommend this book!  He is Christian and refers to God a bit, but I noticed that you are Christian too (your Lent reference gave you away :) ) so that shouldn't be a problem.  Best to you!

 LOVE your response Sassy!!  I'm reminded of the "Daily Dozen" I try to practice - #1 is 'Give Thanks.'

Thanks girls for the comments.  I'm not as apt to hop on here as I used to (hint hint nudge nudge to Shea on that Bberry app.  :o)  ).

On the topic of gratitude - YES.  I actually have been doing that in the mornings on my long commute to work.  I should probably start doing it before I go to bed as well.  It IS a great way to start the day and a great reminder about the good things.  When I was active in a 12-step program, this was suggested to me as well.

I have only caught myself just a few times with the negative thoughts in motion and have said, "STOP" and replaced the thought with a prayer...  that seemed to do the trick also.

Andrea and Sassy, I will add those books to my library want list.  Thanks for the references!

Hi WM, I wanted to let you know we're doing on this great goal. Are you Little Mary Sunshine yet? :) 

I caught myself this morning in a grouchfest over something really small that I could have easily ignored but instead stewed over for a bit. Took me all morning to get over my bad self. I thought of you and wondered if you could offer any advice!

Looking forward to hearing how you're progressing.

And PS: We've got BB on the schedule, because we are working with them to create a super app, it's taking longer than we thought, but it will be so worth it! Some wonderful features that are going to make all BB users so connected and constantly in touch with their goals. No more excuses. :) I'll keep you posted for sure!

Good Morning!!  I'm sharing my bright morning smile with you today to help you along your merry way (that's in a sing-song voice too)  ; ).  Hope you're keeping it happy as we move closer to Easter.  I'm reminded of a quote from William James:

 "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."   

Hope you'll let us know how things are going.

Thanks girls.

I was doing fabulously.  Honestly, there's been a lot of praying.  ANY time a bad monologue starting, I'd recognize it immediately and say a prayer.  I was doing great until Saturday morning...

I've been having this back pain off and on and it's been getting worse.  I woke up Sunday morning at 4:30 am stuck and in TERRIBLE pain.  Seriously, natural childbirth (with no back labor) was easy compared to this.  Tears, screaming...  of course, my husband had fallen asleep on the couch and couldn't hear me.  I was so ticked off the rest of the day.  LOTS of bad monologue that day.  Took me most of the day to get over it (my pain and my attitude) but after that, it's been okay.

But Shea, the first thing is I RECOGNIZE the inner talk and then replace it with prayer.  I think it's been a little easier for me because I had to do similar stuff when getting through anxiety attacks...  talking myself out of the cycle.  I really have no other words of wisdom to bestow.

So sorry to hear about your pain.  I've experienced that labour you describe and can't imagine anything worse, (funny how they say a mother forgets once her baby is born. It's nearly 10 years later for me and I remember that pain like I just went through it without the reward of the bouncing bundle of joy) so... your backpain on Sunday morning must have been excruciating!!  I hope it has eased up for you since then.  Happy to hear that things are better.

Well, again, this has been going great!  I've been VERY pleased.  I'm hoping by adding yoga to my morning and evening routine will help me stay centered and calm.  :o) 

I'm so happy to hear that this has been going so well for you.  That's fantastic.  Yoga twice a day?  You are my new hero.  Please let us know if that works for you.  I should probably start a daily yoga routine too - perhaps that'll help me reduce the stress levels.  

I came across this quote today and thought of you.  With so much yoga, maybe you could try this as a meditation mantra:  “Two-minute attitude drill:  T0 EVERYONE: You can trust me. I'm committed to excellence.  I care about you as a person. EVERY DAY:  Do good.  Do your best.  Treat others as you would be treated. FOR TODAY:  Nothing negative will escape my lips.”  - Author Unknown

Andrea, that is a great one!  The "treat others as you would be treated" really resonates in my head.  I'm starting to get ramped up for the political season and I despise it.  No one in the US politics seems to care for anyone's feelings and it is just down right yucky.  Anyway, this speaks to me on a few levels.

I'm waiting until my final doc appt on Friday before I start the yoga but it definitely seems doable.

Ugggg... Politics.  Never a happy topic up this way.  I am happy to hear that the quote I sent your way struck a chord.  There are so many incredible quotes and books too.  You never know if the right one will come to you at the right time in life to make a difference. Can't wait to hear about the yoga regime.  Best of luck with the doc and hope you'll keep us posted.

 How did your doctor's appointment go WM?

Oh Andrea, it's been a mess.  I had to have a second epidural shot.  I was doing physical theraply 2 - 3 times a week and no significant improvement.

It's tolerable but it's been "catching" a lot today.  I'm not as often having the sciatica pain I had been having but the low back has been strained to say the least.

I started yoga on my own but was reading today about poses for people with herniated discs.  There are some special considerations to take into account.  I got myself some props too, so I can do some of the poses without straining my low back.

Anyway, thanks for asking.  It's been an uphill battle.  As far as the negative inner voice, I find it only comes when I'm high on hormones.  So, when the hormones balance out, the voice goes away.

I have been wearing a bracelet that I switch wrists when I complain...  I'm not diligent about it but I read that might help too.  I picked up the idea from a book I've been reading called "What's it like to be married to me" by Linda Dillow.  It's been an inspirational book and has made remarkable improvements on my attitude at home - so much so that my husband noticed.  :o)

Chronic pain has a significant effect on our ability to manage emotions, Jamie. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm also emailing you the list of yoga postures developed by the My Life List yoga expert and author, Gabrielle, to help sciatica. If you want a copy of the book and MP3, just say the word.

mp3?  I'd be in heaven!

I just emailed you the poses. The 25-posture sequence isn't developed specifically for your pain, so you'll have to be careful. Let me see if I can track the MP3 on Billy's computer, he's not in the office right now. On its way.

WM... so sorry to have missed these updates somehow.  How have you been managing with your pain?  Your yoga routine?  Sciatica pain is absolutely awful and a herniated disc sounds like a nightmare.  I hope things have improved for you over the last month or so. You mentioned physiotherapy... have you tried any massage therapy?  Chiropractic care? Massage therapy helped me a tonne after a car accident and an injury to my low back.  It's not cheap though.  

On another note, it's great that your husband noticed an improvement in your attitude.  It's amazing how just a few little differences will have a trickle down affect on everyone else in the house.  I've been really trying to smile more at home and I keep tellin my kids to 'be the sunshine.'  Everyone loves to be around bright smiley happy kids instead of scowly, mopey, frowny ones.  Lets see if this'll hold out through the eight weeks of summer.  Hope you'll post some positive news about your progress and that you're feeling better these days.

Andrea, I love the "Be the Sunshine." WM, how was the Salty Dog? Has it helped at all? Hope you're enjoying a fabulous, happy fourth of July weekend!

Just checking in on all the goals I'm supporting.  Hope you've been able to find some relief from your pain.  Yoga helping at all?

WM, I always come back to this goal, because it's so relevant to everyone on some level. I'm not sure if you can ever really celebrate this as a success story because it's a continuous effort, but I love the inspiration and reminder this goal provides -- thanks for that!

Shea, I'm sorry I've been remiss in responding to your inquiry about the yoga.  THANKS FOR THOSE POSES!!!!  I got the book, and I do like it, but I'm still being slow and steady and have been concentrating on the special back poses mentioned in the book and I'm doing better.

I'm no longer having lower back pain at all BUT my sciatica is back in full swing.  I'll take the sciatica over a herniated disc any day but it's a pain in the a$$ (pun intended).

I think if I was more diligent to wake up earlier than I do and stretch in the morning AND at night it would probably help but I do my yoga at night.  I've started jogging again too so I think that's added to the sciatica.  oh well.  either keep these last 5 pounds or have sciatica...  I'll take the last I think.

I'm not sure what's really happened but that negative inner voice is gone for now.  You are right, it will likely never be a success story BUT I am not where I was which is a great improvement.

That's OK, girl! You can't focus on writing all the time while you're busy accomplishing all those goals. I am thrilled that the yoga book/Mp3 are helping you. There should be some other way to force off that last 5 pounds, too, without wreaking havoc with your back. Maybe not running but what about swimming or rowing, good stretches in both of those.

It's amazing what being happy and seeing progress will do to shush that inner critic. I just got engaged July 1 and I've been floating on air ever since. I don't think I'll ever go back to listening to that inner voice again! :)